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The behavior is abusive, diminishing to your spirit, and at times a real challenge to overcome.
Recognizing the traits and setting boundaries early and often in a new relationship can help to identify and mitigate the damage of a deeply selfish abuser. Narcissists are often deeply ingrained in high risk tasks or dangerous behavior: high risk sports, hi- finance, cheating in relationships, drug and alcohol addiction, or lying in general are a few of the ways a person who lacks empathy to the extreme gets any rush at all.
The high-risk behavior gives them the adrenalin rush they need to feel something at all. Usually, by adulthood, a person who lacks empathy has learned how to mimic the social mores of the times.
They know all the right things to say and do to make you feel like you are the most valuable, important, sexy, or whatever trait you most value about yourself.
So, while it may feel like every ex you’ve ever dated is a Narcissist, that just isn’t the case.
A person expressing several of the criteria may not have earned the diagnosis, but may just be the kind of person you need nothing to do with.
But what they are really referring to is our “selfie generation”, the millennials vying for attention on social media.
No one has the time to “check in” constantly with someone they’re “just” dating.
This form of contact is perfect for abusers to “check in” with you to see what you are up to, to make sure that you are suitably “hooked” to their attention, and is a form of “idealization” which will place you on a pedestal that at first, seems irresistible.
The great thing about dating is that you are not committing to a relationship, so you can use this process as a way to find out more about a potential partner, and if necessary, cut ties should he or she turn out to have abusive traits investing further in the relationship. They can maintain this control in a diverse number of ways: Although many people don’t realize this, excessive flattery and attention from a charming manipulator is actually a form of control because it keeps you dependent on their praise.
If you find yourself being bombarded with text messages, voicemails, calls and e-mails on an hourly basis in the early stages of dating, keep a lookout for other signs.
Dating Emotional Predators: Signs to Look Out For by Shahida Arabi Dating an emotional predator, a narcissist, a sociopath or anyone else who has the potential to be an abusive or toxic influence in your life is a devastating emotional roller coaster of highs and lows.